English being taught in a French primary school

Yes, it happens. Or in my sons case, singing songs in English in class. Every Thursday lunchtime an Indian student gives extra lessons to children in Rémys class to learn the basics in English. In the main the kids are all 4 and 5 years olds, so nothing too complicated is tackled. As parents we were quite surprised as nothing was actually said to us about plans to introduce English into the school, we didn’t find out until Rémy vaguely told us one day that someone called Pankech had been talking in English to him today. Very odd as Rémy doesn’t speak English very often, although he understands it.

It seems to be working quite well, although Pankech tends to use the Indian based videos in English that you can find on Youtube. There is a tendence to wander off what I would call traditional nursery rhymes by using different words to existing music. I still haven’t been able to convince Rémy that the song he was singing in English this morning is called "Row Row Row your boat" and not "Eat Eat Eat your meat every single day".

One afternoon and a road layout…

As a little boy, I loved drawing road layouts. Now I don’t quite know where that interest came from, but I’d spend hours drawing a whole city on the massive sheets of discarded computer paper my Dad used to bring home from work. I often dreamed about making a model town for my toy cars, but only ever got as far as building a few cardboard railway layout buildings; a church, a pub and a row of cottages.

Then last weekend my MIL bought Rémy a set of fire engines complete with little signs… Thumpah could see for once I was in a good mood (despite becoming one year older), so suggested "Why don’t you draw a road layout for Rémy on this old desk calendar I’ve JUST covered with paper?" I sensed that there was some forward planning here, but without an utterance I sat and drew a road layout… something I’ve not done for a long time.

Of course, being me, it had to be just right – despite the fact I was drawing on the dining room table that was littered with after birthday party rubbish. So with lots of "As-tu fini Daddy’s?" from Rémy – I spent a couple of hours drawing away…

…and guess what? He was quite pleased with it. So was I…

Christmas is… building toys

Well Christmas is well behind us, with all the excitement that brings for the kids and exhaustion for the parents. This is my first post for 2012… so a very Happy New Year and Bonne Année to you all. Most importanly good health to all readers and f**k the money and the being prosperous s**t…

So far our New Year has been fairly calm… no shocks… no hospitals and I passed 42 in the company of some great friends last weekend and Rémy was chuffed to bits to see his friend Lilian again.

Of course, with my birthday and the usual festive stuff, he has really had some nice presents. As has Emma I suppose. But at 4 years old, toys begin to become more interesting both for him and Daddy. Christmas morning was spent "building" them and hunting for batteries.

I admit that I probably enjoyed playing with his new things about as much as he did.

Blowy Wednesday

Like everybody else we’re getting ready for the “Big C”, the tree is up, the tinsel is hanging and we’ve had err… 6 Christmas cards so far. Mind you have only just sent out my UK ones and the French ones are yet to go.
Rémy did help me a bit this year with the decorations, he put up all the stockings above the fireplace and passed me the tinsel to put up on the living room ceiling.

Strange to realise that this time last year we had plenty of white stuff out and it really did feel Christmassy. This year is a very different story. The last 48 hours we’ve had gale force gusts of wind. In fact I’m a bit surprised that we’ve not had any damage (did I speak too soon?).

Last Friday evening was Rémy’s schools’ Christmas Show. It was quite nice, although it did make me ask questions about whether I am really integrating into French life. When I take him to school I feel outside of it all – it is not a nice feeling really. 14 years here and I feel like that. Not good. Of course Rémy speaks in French all the time, something I have to get used to.

Today is Wednesday (hence the title), so the kids are at home as there is no school. My MIL has kindly taken Rémy on for the morning. While Emma is still in bed. From 3am till 6am I was watching recordings of Top Gear. Seems I have a tracheitis, so coughing a lot. It woke me up. So a bit grumpy today through lack of sleep. When Thumpah left this morning Rémy sobbed and screamed “Maman”. I’m used to it now. So I left him to it – only I didn’t realise he had the door open, until my MIL turned up saying she could hear him crying from her place. So he left with her and barely said “Goodbye” to me. Obviously he prefers not to spend Wednesday with me… I don’t blame him, being stuck at home with Daddy can’t be much fun.

Tomorrow is the kids’ School Christmas dinner. Luckily on the one day during the week, when Rémy goes to the canteen.

Fave Christmas song this year? : “Christmas Time” – The Darkness… Oooh and it *is* dark out there this morning at 9.40am…

There ARE more important things to do than revamp my site…

When I should have been doing something more important this afternoon (like the washing up) I spent the couple of hours while Emma was napping, re-theming my essonne.image site. There’s nothing like making work for yourself, is there? But I feel that it was worth a rehash to make it easier to read and add a few more functions.

Criticism, suggestions, remarks, insults and hysterical laughter on a post card please… don’t expect me to pay for the stamp!

…but I may be bad at complaining, but I got a result!

…as a postscript to my previous entry…

I’m pleased to say that the online British food shop I used in the UK seems to be very considerate. They’re going to refund me the cost of the dented tins of Heinz Spaghetti Alphabet Shapes… I hope my kids are grateful…

Hi John,

Thank you for your email. Please accept my sincere apologises for the inconvenience you have received. I will arrange a refund for you on the dented tins of Heinz Alphabetti Pasta Shapes. Once you have been refunded you will receive a confirmation email and the refund will show in your account between 3-5 working days after.
I hope this information is to your satisfaction, and if you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Once again please accept my sincere apologises for the inconvenience you have received.

Kind Regards

I don’t like mentionning names in cases like this (for obvious reasons), but I will this time as I am quite pleased with their service. So well done British Corner Shop!

I am very bad at complaining…

Recently I received a couple of orders of British food from an online store in the UK. It is one of those places where you fill a 25kg box for a fixed postage amount, which is quite good really as there is a tendence to rip us "expats" off where food from back home is concerned. In particular, the shops here that very rarely have a "British shelf", such as Carrefour, Auchan & Intermarché; can charge sometimes double the price you pay back home.

OK – it goes without saying that my order from the UK cost a small fortune… I even bought some chilled goods as well, such as Lincolnshire sausages, bacon and sausage meat (for stuffing). But as Christmas approaches and that it is now 3 years since I spent Christmas in the UK, I thought "why not?"…

So here’s my letter of "complaint":

Hello Rosie,

Thanks for my order which I received last Thursday. This arrived mostly in good order apart from the 3 tins of Heinz Alphabet Pasta Shapes and one tin of soup which arrived dented.
As everything was well packed and that there was no damage to the parcel, I’m assuming that these were damaged before they were put into the parcel.

I thought I’d let you know this, as you are probably not aware that damaged goods are being sent out to customers.

Everything else arrived without any problems, including the chilled order. I was particularly pleased as the delivery people made the effort to bring the parcels straight to the house. As we live down a private drive, often we have a piece of paper left in the letterbox asking us to go and pick up the parcel from the nearest Post Office/Depot which is very inconvenient.

Thank you again for your prompt order and good customer service.

Regards,

John.

I told you… I’m BAD at complaining, I’m just too NICE…

The British Pub in France

Bet that got your hopes up didn’t it? Unless you live in Paris, where you have Firkin pubs galore and now a new Marks & Sparks on the Chomps Elizees…

No, sorry, it’s a virtual pub.

But its a friendly place to be that I’ve set up on Facebook.

Over the years I have set up groups for those of us that choose to live in France (not forgetting those who WANT to live in France – but can’t) which to some extent have been fairly successful when it has come to actually meeting up face to face. Less so online.
As a rule I don’t like “online expat groups and forums”. My many years in France have put me to the wise of all the bitchiness and one upmanship that can go on from people who love to hide behind their screens and do the dirty deed.

So why have this group? On Facebook, of all places? Well for one the group is by invite only (unless you happen upon this message and decide to come and join us) and the whole idea is for everyone to stay in touch with friends from my previous groups and meet up from time to time. Of course if you want to join, then thats fine by me – provided you are joining for all the right reasons.

We’re a small intimate virtual Pub that is a fun place to be.

Oooh its all dark outside and other silly things associated with November

Frankly I’ll be the first to admit that its been a while… a while since we celebrated anything decent. Oh and a while since I bored you to death here on Superpositoire. Yes I can smell you all decomposing in your corners out of sheer boredom… I wish I could say I was bored, but I’m not… well not in general that is. OK I’m getting a bit fed up with little disputes between my two kids, screams from the both… everyday… 7/7 almost 24/24… in fact I’m not alone there as Thumpah gets it in the neck from them both whenever she is here. Perhaps more so that I do. But as of late both my little monsters have kept me, my MIL and Thumpah very busy as has the local Mairie.

We’ve now reached the season of dark evenings and grim mornings… a sure-fire sign that Christmas is around the corner. Toy adverts on the telly (can’t we just ban Gulli???) mad buying sprees on Amazon, CDiscount and Photobox for me. It seems so long since we were in Normandy.

That break may have been only 3 days but it did seem longer. Now we’ve passed through Halloween (never celebrated) and Bonfire Night (not celebrated this year… sadly) and my first hospital out-patients visit in Paris, which confirmed more or less that my condition is hereditary. Next appointment in 6 months just after my sons’ 5th birthday next year. Meanwhile I’ve been told to lose weight (for my legs), perhaps that’ll be easier said than done as I’ve been plagued with heartburn. Anyone would think that I’ve been eating razor blades…?

So now its back on the tablets and 2 weekly blood tests and and of course those sexy socks… promise I won’t pose nude on here wearing them… Awright… If you want me to…?

Losing weight doesn’t go very well with Christmas does it? Damn, I’ve received an order of English goodies from the site "British Corner Shop"… even bought some bacon, Lincolnshire sausages and other nice edible things. How did that happen…? At least with those you won’t catch my naked bum in my stretchy tights… Ah well, you can always wait for me to lose some weight…

Go west along the Normandy coast young man

A title sort of borrowed from Only Fools and Horses.

After a lovely evening spent on the beach 300m from where we are staying, today we’re dragging the kids west along the coast towards Ouistreham and Arromanches les Bains.

Was a bit naffed off last night to have not taken my camera to the beach with me. The evening light was superb. Plenty of people searching for shellfish. Even a horse and trap in the waves. Quite a contrast to earlier in the afternoon when the beach was deserted.

Still I had my video camera there to film Remy doing the splits in the sand. Emma walking with our aide and some embarrassing footage of me running with Emma in her pushchair. Attacking Remy and Toffee.

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